I had a lady ask me about hypnosis the other day for losing weight which would have been easy to sell, to say ‘yes sure, come in and see me tomorrow’ and to give them a session based on what they’ve asked me. It may have worked superficially, but not long term.

That’s easy to do and pays short term, but its not congruent for me. Id rather go and do something else than run a practice like that.

Instead I spoke with her about what I believe and by chatting together what I really thought she needed to loose weight and break the habits she had, that she felt made her out on weight and it had nothing to do with hypnosis or diet.

Whether I’m right or wrong, whether I loose a client or not is something I can’t control. All I control is my congruence.

Influence I heard today is not about convincing someone else about what we are saying, but rather it’s about them believing we believe what we are saying.

It’s a subtle difference but is very different.

I loose lots of clients when I say what I think. And obviously I’d rather keep them, but in reality it would never work and I’m only interested in what works rather than what sells.

But I also change a lot of people with what I think.

Not because I’ve just read it or been to a weekend workshop, but because I’ve also experienced it. I believe it  because I’ve witnessed it. What I’m saying is what I know does work because I’ve used it in the real world both with myself and others.

I may not be the right fit for you. You may think I’m talking shit, but you’ll be in no doubt I believe what I’m telling you – not because I’m trying to sell you something but because I really believe it’s what creates the changes you are asking for.

My way is rarely easy. It’s usually pragmatic and basic and it takes work and time and even at the end it’s not perfect. But it’s sustainable and it’s practical and it’s built to last.